Sorry for the lag between posts. Summer = crazy busy with visitors and teaching my regular yoga classes while trying to finish up the last of my Loyola Marymount Yoga Therapy homework, a 10-page paper on Yoga for Addiction Recovery. Needless to say, my other writing is what dropped off.

The last couple of weeks have been so interesting though. I’ve been struggling for months with the antics going on at the administrative level at one of the places I teach. I even found myself relaying all the madness to my mother while she was in town. I finally had to promise myself and her that I would let it go and not mention it, so that we could fully enjoy our time together.

This weekend, I decided to throw in the towel and no longer teach at the studio. If you don’t know me, this is pretty big for me. I’m a let’s work it out kinda girl, not afraid to confront issues.

Several years ago, when my marriage was falling apart, I was forced to learn to discern and relay my needs. Despite all odds, including an almost two year separation, my husband and I managed to work through our differences and have found happiness with each other. Since then, I have confronted a boss about management style issues and a friend about a breakdown in our relationship and have reaped the rewards tenfold, transforming those relationships into something much deeper. High on those two successes, I tried to confront another friend about something that had hurt my feelings. That time didn’t turn out as well, but did teach me that relationships are two way streets, were both people have to be mature and honest enough to really discuss the heart of the issues, forgive and try to change.

In the above mentioned instances, my relationships (and the paycheck at my job) were worth going through the confrontation and asking for what I need. In my current situation, I just didn’t see the value in it. Not that I couldn’t have done it and grown from the situation. I’m in a different place in my life right now. Teaching yoga and helping people find inner strength and peace is such a wonderful experience. Guiding someone that I hardly know to become a better manager and business operator falls well out of my job duties as a yoga instructor. So I folded.

It was a scary thing to do. I had gotten quite a few of my students to follow me to this studio. It was also slightly embarrassing having to tell them it wasn’t working out, especially when the space is lovely and we are all enjoying the classes. To deal with the anxiety and stress surrounding this decision, I started doing more meditation and breathwork.

I went back to doing Deepak Chopra’s Heart Meditation, which I did constantly throughout my separation with my husband. It is an amazing meditation that has you focus on all the things you are grateful for in life, then repeat the mantra: “Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle.  I relinquish all resentments, grievances and regrets and I choose the miracle.” Finally, he invites you to shift your awareness to someone or something you are holding a grudge against and practice forgiveness.

The breathing exercise, called Complete Breath, practiced while laying one your back divides each inhale and exhale into 3 parts:

• Inhale:
  • Draw 1/3 of your breath into your belly and pause
  • Inhale the next 1/3^rd of your breath, expanding your lower ribcage and pause
  • Inhale, completely filling the upper lungs and pause
• Exhale:
  • Let the heart drop down with the first 1/3^rd of your exhale, pause
  • Let the back of the lower ribs sink on the next 1/3^rd then pause
  • The belly draws down as you exhale the remaining breath, then pull the belly up and in.

The meditation helped me let go of all the offenses and anger surrounding the studio. While the Complete Breath exercise has given me strength to trust that in letting this go, God will bring something far greater into my life.

Continuing the focus on the heart this month, here is a beautiful meditation practice that helps you send love (or healing, grace, peace) to anyone in need.

Sit or lay in a comfortable position.  Start by taking a few breaths and softening your shoulders, hips and jaw on each exhale.  Then slowly start to focus on your inhale.  We are so very often stuck in the mindset that we have to pull the breath in.  Not so. The inhale is a receptive action– the lungs work like a vacuum, so upon exhalation they are empty and will automatically fill with air.  The deeper you exhale the more volume you create for the inhale.

With your slow inhale, start to receive love, grace and peace.  I also like to send gratitude into every cell in my body with the inhale.  Just like how the airline safety regulations advise you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, you have to fill yourself with love before you can send it out.  After several minutes of receiving on your inhale, you’ll start to feel lighter and full of love.

At this point begin to send out that love you’ve created inside with every exhale.  You can choose a single person to focus on for several minutes, or after a few exhales focusing on one person, you can send love to a different person in need.

Energy in electromagnetic waves is known as radiant energy.  The electromagnetic field of the heart is 5,000 times stronger than that of the brain, so your heart has an amazing capacity to radiate energy.  As you start to send out love with your exhale you will start to feel it radiating from your heart.

The more love that each of us creates inside and sends out to others, the more it will spread to everyone around us.  My hope is that eventually it reaches a tipping point and the judgmental, intolerant and prejudice nature of humans will start to shift to acceptance and love for all no matter where they are in their journey.