This was my first winter/spring in eight years not spent in Los Angeles, or the land of eternal spring as I like to call it. What I had forgotten is how bleak and dreary winter can be. In Texas, we had an especially rough winter, with five or six ice days which the city was not prepared for. For all of January and February everything was brown – no leaves on trees, brown grass and even the sky was gray most of the winter.

As spring has started to emerge, even in the form of little weeds/wildflowers I have become giddy inside. Life is returning to the earth and I can feel it in every bone in my body. In the land of eternal spring, I had forgotten how much I LOVE spring. Don’t get me wrong, I and many people in LA appreciate the beautiful surroundings, but there is just something about going through a real winter that makes you appreciate spring so much more.

I guess it’s the whole cycle of life. We don’t appreciate the highs unless we have experienced some lows. Everything in life is full of peaks and valleys. What I wonder is, when we don’t allow ourselves to experience lows fully, like when a relationship fails and you move on to the next guy or girl immediately, do you truly feel the full affects of the next good time or high in life?

I am a feel-it kind of girl. If I’m sad, I allow myself to be sad; if I’m mad I also feel that emotion and try to not supress it (supressing anger definitely caused me some serious lows in the past). Luckily, I’m a pretty happy person most of the time and have learned how to see the positive side of even the most bleak situations, in the least that “this too shall pass.”

Just as the blooming trees and flowers come and go in spring so do our feelings of “high” or happiness and even love wane as time passes. In Ben Shahar’s book Happier, he describes four happiness modes:

• The Rat-Racer – always thinking they’ll be happy if they just accomplish (you name it);
• The Hedonist – thinking happiness is only in the moment so do what feels good now;
• The Nihilist - no matter what they do, they won’t ever be happy;
• The Happiness Mode – being happy with wherever you are and whatever you are going through.

This may be tough sometimes, especially during the bleak winter but I think we can always find gratitude for something or someone in our lives. And I think that is a good place to start on the road to happiness.

I guess spring (for all those not in So. Cal. or some tropical location) is our visual and olfactory reminder that things do get better, we grow, we change. So no matter how bleak your surroundings look at anytime, just remember that spring with all it’s newness, abundance and beauty is on it’s way.

Instead of sharing a yoga posture, breathing or meditation technique with this blog, I recommend getting yourself outside EVERY day this spring – take your yoga or meditation practice for a walk. Take your time, notice the subtle changes every day, stop and smell or admire flowers in bloom. Give thanks and find joy for all the beauty God is surrounding you with.

Sorry for the long stretch between posts. I’ve been busy getting acclimated to being back in Texas, trying to find new yoga teaching gigs, all while renovating a house. It has been a huge change in our lives to move back home to Texas, but so far we are enjoying it and believe it was the right move for us now.

Since we have both are not working (I hardly consider teaching 4 classes a week, of something I LOVE doing work), we are doing the majority of our home renovations ourselves. Originally, it was just going to be refinishing the hardwood floors in the 2 small bedrooms and a complete redo of the kitchen. However after demolishing the kitchen, while I wasn’t there one day, my hubby went on to demolish the bathroom.

Needless to say, the house renovation we thought would take a month or so is now well into 2+ months. The good news is that we do have a 90% completed bathroom (with working toilet, sink and bath/shower), and 80% complete kitchen (we just got countertops, which you only realize are important when you don’t have them).

Seeing a room come together from the studs inward gives you a totally different perspective on a what all it takes to complete something. Maybe it’s me (or just a woman thing), but automatically just go to the tile, paint and décor when thinking about “finished room.” However, it is all prep work underneath those things that really make the room a solidly/soundly built room.

As humans, I think we get stuck in the same mindset – looking at theoutward appearance of people only and thinking wow they look great, they must be healthy, happy, etc. But in reality it is the inner workings, i.e. a solid foundation composed of many things including self confidence, compassion, inner joy, gratitude, and contentment. And these things only come with time, contemplation and work.

Making this big change in our lives, combined with doing this renovation has definitely made me take a deeper look at what I am made of. Do I, will I have the motivation, the determination, the confidence to really go after all my dreams? I feel I have a solid foundation. Now it is just putting in the effort that brings change about.

I am so thankful that we have had the time, energy and ability to do all our home renovation ourselves. Don’t get me wrong – it’s hard work, but it’s very fulfilling to know that your own sweat (and sometimes blood and tears) have gone into something that you care about. Also, because we (my husband more so than me) are picky about things being done the best/right way we know that our work is of better quality than if we had paid someone to do it.

The same goes for any aspect of your life that is important to you. With anything you really care about, slow down, uncover all conscious and unconscious emotions and attitudes towards the thing you care about and towards yourself – all desires, hopes, fears, and especially causes of procrastination or moving too quickly through something.

In my therapeutic yoga classes I try to get people to slow down through movements and between poses. Our bodies tend to just pass quickly through movements that are difficult. That way the weak or restricted muscles/joints have to do the least amount of work – the body is designed to want to do more of what is easy, more of what it is good at. But wholeness and healing to those painful muscles/joints only come by slowing down and creating an internal foundation of strength.

The best way to both slow down and build a strong emotional foundation is through meditation. Even just 5 minutes a day of sitting and asking why something is important to you or why you are procrastinating or moving so quickly, you can start to uncover motivations and maybe even childhood beliefs or needs that are still driving you today. Once you know, then you get to decide if you want to make a change or if these motivations and feelings are giving you a strong foundation.

I spent the last week with a visiting family member and have never before been so disturbed by a visit. This family member has always been tough, but this time was somehow worse than any other I’ve experienced. The core problem is that we have a complete opposite view of the world.

I view the world and everyone in it as basically good (not in a blindly gullible way) and he believes that the world is basically evil where everyone is out to get him. Usually when I encounter disagreements with people, I can see their side of things and have learned to keep my differing opinions to myself and wish the person the best. However in this case, I can’t respect this opposing view.

Knowing his background and upbringing, I do feel sad for him and that his hardships have driven him to this view. But the thing is, we all have a choice. When life provides hardships, we can either grow and learn from them or shut down and try to avoid all people and things that might give us hardships and sorrows. And I choose to surround myself with people who decide to have hope and faith in God and humanity.

The majority of the time, I choose to ignore his trips to “the dark side” as we call it, but I still stumble several times each visit. I get to a point where my soul can’t take it anymore and I fight back and try to prove the potential goodness of humanity. It is always pointless though; he is looking for someone to argue with and I’ve never known him to even consider another opinion.

Why was it so much worse this time? I’ve concluded it was differences on both sides: he was not in our home (as we currently don’t have one) and felt more comfortable; and with all the changes in our lives, we are living on faith and require much more positivity. Whatever it was, I finally had it. We had a blowout his last night in town that ended in me walking out of the house and hoping to never have to see him again.

When I left (luckily I had a friends house to run to and vent), I was just as upset with myself as I was with him. I wished I would have had more self control, more compassion. In my yoga practice and teaching, I emphasize compassion and understanding for self and others, and I had just blown it bigtime. After cooling off, I headed back and was not thrilled to see that he was still awake, but thankfully he apologized, then I apologized and at least our last words weren’t words of anger.

With this visit over, I have no doubts that my Thanksgiving with the rest of my family will be full of wonderful and loving memories. But this may not be so for many out there. So how can stressful family relationships be handled better than I handled mine last week?

In the past, it has helped me to remain a bit more detached from the vibe surrounding his rants. To detach, I shift my awareness inside, focus on slowing down my breath; if possible without being noticed, I close my eyes and let my breath get deeper. To protect myself from feeling the negativity, I sometimes place my hand over my heart, as if to shield it (I don’t have any facts as to if any cultures believe this works, but it feels better and it helps me practice compassion).

Another thing that has helped me in other relationships is to really be aware of my belief and expectations of the other person. If I expect him to be negative, and know that it will upset me, it typically plays out that way. I try to challenge my beliefs/feelings – asking myself how would I feel/respond if (in this case) he was positive and upbeat about society and the future. In other relationships I’ve found that this simple shift in how I’m feeling, thus how I respond can change the whole interaction. Sadly, in this case I have more doubt than my other relationships. So what is left?

Create boundaries. In my case, I know I need more time away from his negative rantings (on this visit I still had to listen to him, even while doing my morning yoga practice). In the future, I am going to have a set amount of time that I am willing to be around him each day and stick to it. It can be variable each day, but if I pledge to myself to not react/engage during that allotted time, I can hold to it.

Recite and internal mantra. Again, one of my favorite generic mantras is “All Shall Be Well,” but any scripture, or ancient proverb that relates to your situation will work

I also welcome any other suggestions and thoughts!

Lately I am loving Bob Dylan’s song “Oh the Times, They Are Changing,” featured Oliver Stone’s The Doors from 1991. I watched the movie since it had scenes shot in the Venice Canals. Other than the scenery, the movie is a big downer and I don’t recommend it, but the closing credits Bob Dylan song really spoke to me.

My life has recently turned upside down. My husband and I just moved from Los Angeles back to our hometown Fort Worth, Texas. We left our awesome place and neighbors, our amazing friends, my most excellent book club, work that we liked, and all the culture and fun of Los Angeles to take a stab at succeeding at our dreams.

It was a hard decision to make, but both of us felt that we had become somewhat stagnant and needed to shake things up. While the whole process hasn’t been easy, it has been relatively smooth, like it was meant to be.

So here we are, just going with the flow. Trying our hands at new ventures and opening ourselves to new possibilities, both which can be terrifying at times. Whenever the fear starts to grip me, I practice shifting gears in my mind from fretting about the future to just trusting the process, having faith that everything will work out as it should. We all get into the mindset that when we make a change, everything will immediately be perfect, but it’s just not so. All things take work.

Last year, the (brilliant babes) book club I am in read the book “A Time of My Life” by Allison Winn Scotch. While it was a quick, easy and entertaining read, I was quite unhappy with the ending. It portrayed a girl who seemed to have it all, but felt unfulfilled in her life, then woke up 5 years in the past. She got a re-do with her old boyfriend, a chance to be more successful at work, and see her life in a whole new perspective. What she ended up learning was that she was the one that needed to make change in her life to be happy. That it wasn’t her husband, her small daughter, or giving up her career that had left her unfulfilled; it was that she hadn’t consciously made decisions based on what she wanted.

Once she realized that she had made all her decisions based on what she thought other people would approve of and that she needed to take control of her life, she immediately was snapped back to her “real” life. But her real life looked totally different, and was now perfect for her. What I didn’t like about the book was that she didn’t have to do the work to get the life she wanted, it just magically appeared. Life is just not like that. We have to make hard decisions and take difficult actions sometimes. Even though I was so sad to leave LA, and it was so hard to tell my neighbors, my yoga teachers and students and my church family, I still know it was the right thing to do.

Now to do all the work to make my new life all that I want it to be! Anytime that fear pops back up, I just close my eyes and breath deep, with my rib cage expanding in every direction (imagine an umbrella is opening) on the inhale, and compressing with my spine growing longer on each exhale.

I also love the scripture Hebrews 11: 1 & 3 – Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. By Faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.